


I've loved you, for a hundred years (Certainly fucking feels like it)

by WitcherSexual



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Friendships, Explicit Sexual Content, Gen, Higher Vampire Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier and Tissaia friendship, Jaskier and his Lute, Kaer Morhen, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, Not Beta read because we die like witchers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Oxenfurt Academy (The Witcher), The Path - Freeform, The Witcher Lore, Vesemir Needs a Hug, time jumps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitcherSexual/pseuds/WitcherSexual
Summary: The journey of Julian as he travels the continent, and if he keeps bumping into the same Witcher then it is just a coincidence right?[Title from Marbles by The Amazing Devil]
Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Vesemir
Comments: 19
Kudos: 101
Collections: Sordid Saovine - The Witcher Halloween Event





	1. The truth will always haunt me

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Witcher Sordid Saovine story! I hope to post every Monday and Thursday but I am in college so this may change depending on workload. Another thing, tags will change as the story progresses. 
> 
> Chapter title from Tears by Clean Bandit

It had been around nine centuries since the Conjunction of the Spheres as the mages called it. Nine hundred years of monsters, chaos and horror. The years filled with screams of mothers as their babes were ripped from them, screams of children as they watched their fathers ripped in half from monsters, man or not, cries from the orphans on the streets as they were ignored and killed. 

Julian wandered the Continent, he liked the chaos of the people and the monsters alike. He liked to watch the civilisations change, the deities they prayed to warp over the years. Julian liked to watch from the outskirts, never close enough to be seen, but close enough to learn about the humans. Learn their cultures, languages, prejudices, and enjoyments. 

Julian was a young Vampire a mere two, almost three, centuries while his closest friends were slightly younger by half a century. Regis and Dettlaff were born into their lives at the same time and Julian picked up the older brother role easily. He helped his brothers feed, learn and grow and he watched them fall in love with each other, not that the idiots knew they were in love.

They each took a few years away, a few years to be on their own and be themselves, when you had all of time with the same people it caused a lot of arguments between them, and Julian took the time to watch the humans evolve. 

He found himself wandering closer to the Blue Mountains more and more, his unconscious dragging him towards the chaos that he could feel swirling around them. The chaos that only a group of mages could be at fault for, and Julian was a curious man. 

So he followed the pull, he climbed the mountain for days, and as he pulled himself up onto the peak he saw them. A group of mages surrounded by humans as they chanted in Elder. Julian knew Elder, he learned it from an Elf and he strained his ears only slightly to hear what they \were saying. 

“We call upon the mothers and father before us, we call upon you to help us defeat the evil that plagues our world. We ask that you bless us with the power to smite these ungodly monsters in the name of all that is great. We ask that you gives us the knowledge to make these monster hunters!” Julian rolled his eyes and looked around the clearing, he could see a few older humans, maybe fifty or older a few younger, only two females and both were mages and the most sickening was a bundle of blankets that Julian could hear a child snoring softly in. _ A child. _

“What are you doing here trespasser?” A voice called out towards Julian and the vampire looked up from the child towards the group. The mages still chanted as the small group of humans watched him with their swords out. 

“I come as a friend, may I ask what you are doing?” Julian raised his hands slightly, trying to show that he was not a danger to them but the humans did not lower their weapons. 

“How did you make it here? That climb is impossible,”The man looked behind him, Julian grinned as the oldest man spoke and he nodded his head once. 

“Aye it is, but I am no sir you see. Again may I ask what you are doing?” Julian pressed forward slightly, the swords wouldn’t hurt him and they weren’t even holding them properly so he had no doubt that he would defeat them easily. 

“Stand ho! No further, we shall skewer you where you stand” Julian smirked but stopped his progression forward and he looked back at the mages. Their chanting had finished and the leader, or he thinks he’s the leader, was nodding and speaking softly to them all. 

“I am Julian, and you are?” He bowed his head respectfully and looked back to the man who spoke to him. 

“I am Roland, leader of the Beldams'r clan,” Julian smiled and watched as Roland recoiled at the sight of sharp teeth, the others following his lead. “You are a monster!”

Julian nodded softly and moved back in an attempt to make the humans relax, the Mages were looking at him as well and he wasn’t feeling ready for a fight with them, “I come as a friend,”

“Tell us what you want,” A mage with a grey cloak asked him and the others nodded along with him.

“I am here to offer my own help, in any way you may need,” Julian contemplated using what little skill he had to bewitch them but decided against it since the Mages would be immune to it and they would probably win in a fight against him.

“We need no help! Leave you feral monster or we shall kill you here and now,” Roland was holding a sword, silver if Julian had to guess, and he looked ready to attack if Julian didn’t leave. He wasn’t going to leave anyway, he wasn’t going to let them mess with chaos that they hardly knew about, even the Mages looked young.

“I shall leave, I did bid you farewell my friends,” Julian turned his back to the group and smirked as they whispered about him, he would hole up in a cave opening and watch them from a distance, he prayed they weren’t trying to do anything too stupid. 

-

Juilan’s fears were confirmed in a matter of weeks, the Mages used the full moon and blood magic for a spell, and the next day they injected three of the men with the blood they spelled. He could smell the damage in the blood, the toxicity as they injected it into the men, no, the test subjects, and watched as they died in agony. 

The next month was preparation for the next full moon and to collect more blood than last time. Julian hunted for food, as many deer and rabbits as he could, he took to leaving them at their camp outskirts and staying in the shadows for longer. The others knew he was there, but they left him and he did not intervene as they worked, it was a system they respected. 

The second trials didn’t work either, their group slowly fell in numbers and Julian didn’t think they would be able to complete their goal, not that he really wanted them too, he wasn’t that much of an idiot, he was also classed as a monster to them.

It was in the third month of preparation when they went for a wander further away from their usual areas. The young boy was the one to spot it first, and as Julian followed his pointing he felt his breath leave his body. On the next mountain over there stood a castle so magnificent that Julian knew it would be important in history. It had to be. 

That night it was decided that they would be moving, Julian listened to their conversations and he agreed with their points, safety from the rapidly cooling weather and the animals, as well as a space for everyone to relax slightly. 

Julian followed behind their group, never straying too far as he was listening for any dangers along the way, the young boy was at the goats and Julian listened to the stories he made up to soothe himself. 

He didn’t realize that the boy had stopped until he was basically next to him, the boy gazing at him with a look of steel in his eyes that Julian had to respect. He smiled at the boy, hiding his teeth as well as he could, and raised an eyebrow at the boy. 

“They call you a monster, why?” Julian hummed softly as he kept walking beside the boy, the others weren’t watching him so he could talk to the child for a bit. 

“I’m different from you, I am a monster to those men,” The child huffed and Julian grinned as he kept quiet for a few more minutes.

“You can’t be a monster if I know your name and you know mine,” The child stopped the goat and held his small hand out, “I am Vesemir, you are?”

“I am Julian, a pleasure to meet you young Vesemir,” Julian shook Vesemir’s hand and the boy smiled before he started to walk again and Julian followed behind him, answering the avalanche of questions from Vesemir as they passed things. 

-

As they reached the castle after a few days of travelling Julian was in love with her at first sight, she was old, she had to be around his age maybe older. She was abandoned, her last inhabitants left her to ruin and Julian just wanted to build her back into the way she should be. He walked into the front courtyard and he could feel the old magic built into her foundations, the runes carved into her very essence and the love that she had felt from others through the years. 

No one stopped him as he walked in and grinned at the wall, the architecture was something that Regis would love and how he wished his brothers were with him. He knew that the Castle was big, she was built into the mountain and he wanted to explore all the rooms he could. 

He watched the others walk in and gape at the marvelous work on the castle before the Mages were giving out orders to everyone, Julian was left alone with Vesemir, and he grinned down at the boy.

“Vesemir would you like to explore this marvelous castle with me?” Julian watched as Vesemir’s face lit up and he smiled at the young boy. 

“Aye please! Can we go now?” Julian nodded quickly and clasped his hands together before he pointed at a corridor on their left, Vesemir nodded and they set out on their exploring. 

Julian made notes of each area that needed work, the broken stairs, blasted in doors and the roofs that had caved in. He helped Vesemir up the stairs and watched him as he climbed up a pile of rubble for a view out.

“Julian, can I have a room here?” Vesemir looked at him with wide hopeful eyes and Julian nodded, he would make Vesemir’s room himself if he wanted it. The child had gone through so much in the last four months and Julian wanted him to be happy.

“Of course, I can help you build it if you like,” Vesemir nodded his head frantically and Julian smiled again before he sat on the rubble and looked out at the view. The mountains cut a jagged line across the soft orange and red sky, the sun settling for the night and Julian was reminded of a view similar back home. 

-

It was a few months later when they had finally made major progress on the castle. Her shell was in good condition but her interior needed work and Julian helped the humans and Mages with anything they needed, including carrying the heavier boulders and even hunting when it got too cold for the humans to go out. 

He had his own room, a small one, but it was still his. It was the second month of cleaning that they had found the library and Julian spent days cleaning and dusting before he even opened a single book. Most were journals from the previous inhabitants and Julian learned about their predecessors and the life they led. 

He read about the Elven royal family and the lives they led in the castle, he read about the changes in their way of life and even how the environment changed around them. They called the castle  _ Kaer Morhen _ , the Keep of the Elder Sea, but the sea slowly moved further away from them. It made trade difficult as they didn’t have the ships coming to them, then their staff started to leave, looking for new land as the moving sea revealed land below. The last entry in them was of the Prince saying goodbye to his family as he headed to new land, no one picked up the book after he finished with it. 

Julian told the others the name of the castle and they all adopted it, their home  _ Ka _ e _ r Morhen.  _ They settled into their home and Julian was slowly included more and more, until one night he sat with them at supper and laughed with them. He saw them as family, he didn’t know what they thought of him but they were his family. 

-

Julian watched as the Mages tortured and killed the people he had come to see as family, first it was Neven, then Tielo, Novak, Roland, Isabeau and Amirah. He tried to put a stop to it but they weren’t having any of his objections and Julian had to stop eventually. 

It had been three years since he had joined their group and he had helped teach Vesemir how to fight, he watched him grow as a child. Barmin and him had become the closest of everyone, Barmin was the youngest of the men and Julian liked his humor and guts. 

They fell into bed together and Julian was impressed by the man’s skill, they both ignored the others as they talked about them and Julian wondered if the feelings he had were what others called love. He wasn’t sure about all of his emotions, he knew he loved Regis and Dettlaff but it felt different with Barmin and it terrified him.

Vesemir was sitting with him in the library one evening when he spoke softly, “I am to be tested soon, Dagobert says I shall go with Barmin,”

The young boy didn’t even look up from his book and Julian tried to control his anger, the Mages were going to force Vesemir and Barmin through that torture, he would have to watch them squirm in the chair as their blood boiled in their veins and scream for release from the pain. 

He found Barmin first, he begged him to see reason but he just spouted the same nonsense about serving the continent as he should, Julian wanted to shake him out of the idiocity. He went to Dagobert after he tried to threaten the Mage but he ignored him and Julian knew he had lost his battle with him. Julian refused to watch his family die, he refused. He threw himself into helping the Mages, helping them prepare the potions and spells needed and by the next full moon he was sure he had done everything in his power, it was up to Destiny now. 

He stood in the corner and watched as they strapped the last of his human family to the metal tables and he closed his eyes as they pushed the first potion in. The screams ripped through him, the agony in their voices. He could hear Vesemir’s pleas for death and he tried to push the need to go fucking mental and rip them both off the tables and kill the Mages, but he knew they would hate him if he did. They both thought it was their duty, bullshit really. 

Barmin passed out and Julian felt everyone hold their breath until they saw his chest rise and fall as he breathed in. Vesemir passed out soon after and Julian scratched at his hand until it drew blood and he didn’t stop scratching. He watched them put the next potion in and then another again. Blue and Red. 

Julian remembered their screams, their cries and the smell of their blood and vomit as they lay on the tables. The last dose of the potion was leaving their bodies and everyone in the room watched in amazement as they both took a breath. They lived. 

Julian fell to his knees as they kept on breathing and he ignored everything except listening to their breathing.  _ Alive. Alive. Alive _ . A mantra in his head as he tried to keep the tears from falling down his face.

They didn’t wake for two weeks, Julian was going to give up on them but Barmin opened his eyes first and Julian pulled him into a kiss with no care for anything else. He helped Barmin get used to his new senses for a few days before Vesemir woke up and they both helped him.

Julian took the time to help Barmin more, his new eyes made it difficult to read and Julian read aloud to him. His new hearing made it possible for him to hear the birds down in the valley below and Julian taught him ways to control it like he did.  He trained with them both again and he was amazed at the advancements they made over time, faster than himself almost and more sturdy, he would guess they could win in a fight against even the strongest Griffin with the right training. 

Julian thought that would be it, but the Mages wanted to try more. They wanted to bring more people up, younger boys around two years old, Julian argued against it. They were meddling in things greater than them but they shut him out. Julian tried to get Barmin on his side, but he wanted more boys to train. He wanted more numbers and Julian watched as their home filled with boys all ranging from babes to teens, he watched as the Mages mutilated them in hope of recreating Barmin and Vesemir, they did eventually. It took dozens of children but they finally got it again, the cost was high. He watched as they put ten boys on the tables and only three came back. He watched as they tortured some of them again in hopes of creating stronger hunters, better hunters. 

Julian had to listen to his family be ripped apart and left in pieces and he grew sick of the place he once considered a home. It had been close to a decade since he had met the small group that became family and Vesemir was to turn sixteen that year, soon to head out on his own. Julian hated it, he grew to despise the library and the silence, he hated the Mages, he grew to hate Barmin and his need for more, more, more.

He left in the early hours of one Winter morning. Leaving behind nothing as he started his journey back to his brothers, it had been too long without them. 


	2. It's so damn good to see you (How've you been?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could feel someone watching him after a couple of hours and he scanned the crowd carefully, eyes searching for who it was. And they spotted those unmistakable yellow cat eyes. A Hunter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Title from Reunion by Paradise Fears]

Julian made his way back to Regis and Dettlaff in Oxenfurt when he left Kaer Morhen, it took him a few years but by 980 he was back with them. He told his brothers of his decade away and they agreed with him, the Hunters were to be worried about, but they were glad to have him back. 

They stayed up for a few days before Regis mentioned the party going on and Julian agreed to go because he missed having other Vampires with him, he liked humans but his brethren were one of a kind. Julian picked a soft blue theme while Regis and Dettlaff had gone for a more neutral dark grey and blacks that they looked good in so Julian didn’t say anything to them. 

The city was buzzing with noise and Julian enjoyed the sounds and colors as they walked down the narrow streets. He watched as his two brothers stole glances at each other and he rolled his eyes before he walked over to the edge of the partying, eyes glancing at everyone as they danced and laughed with others and he smiled softly, his mind going back to Barmin for a split second.

He could feel someone watching him after a couple of hours and he scanned the crowd carefully, eyes searching for who it was. And they spotted those unmistakable yellow cat eyes. A Hunter. 

He let his hopes go up, praying that it was Barmin, but his smile dropped when he didn’t really recognize the man. It had been five or so years since he had been at Kaer Morhen but he would have known Barmin straight away, the face didn’t even look like young Vesemir, he had a scar running down his eyebrow and past his right eye. His brown, almost black, hair tied up behind him and Julian wasn’t stupid to say he wasn’t good looking as well as being dangerous. 

He waved at the Hunter and the man walked over to him, slowly and Julian knew he had been had, the Hunter probably wanted to kill him, or attempt to anyway. Julian pushed himself off the ground and held his hand out for the Hunter to shake. 

“Greetings friend, you are?” Julian smiled and let his sharp teeth show off and the Hunter grinned widely at him.

“You don’t remember me?” Julian felt his eyes go wide, it  _ was  _ Vesemir,  _ holy Melitele tits. _

“Vesemir?” The Hunter nodded and Julian pulled the man into a bone crushing hug and felt him laugh slightly. “I did miss you,”

They pulled away and Julian watched as Vesemir looked around carefully, before nodding to a secluded area to talk and Julian went happily. They were silent as they walked and sat down, the music in the background washing over them in pleasant tunes. 

“So what brings you here? enjoying the music?” Julian pulled a handful of grass out and looked up at Vesemir with a grin. 

“You could say that. I am looking for some work.” Julian raised an eyebrow and looked around, “There is at all times work where people gather”

“Wise thinking, less talk of work tonight. We are meant to be celebrating,” Julian pulled a flower from the ground and twisted it in his fingers before dropping it beside him and Vesemir. “How is your home?” It pained him to say ‘your’ instead of ‘our’ like it used to be, maybe he isn’t as over it as he thought. 

“Kaer Morhen fairs well, we are of fifteen Beldams'rs now,” Julian bit his tongue from the remark that wanted to follow Vesemir’s answer and he looked up at the sky quickly. 

“Fifteen, that is a lot, Vesemir, certainly this is a valorous number to stop at, aye?” They had to stop, they had to at fifteen. The pain they forced Vesemir and Barmin through, they couldn’t do that to them.

“We need more, monsters will not stop growing,” Julian cursed softly and looked to Vesemir with a frown. “The mages think we shall have more in a few years,”

“How can you do that to others?” Julian could hear Vesemir’s sigh and his slight move away from him.

“It is for the valorous of the continent, the future,” Vesemir looked at him and then to the flower between them, he picked it up slightly and pulled a few petals out of it, “Valorous for potions,”

“Is that you or the mages talking? Barmin talking? Valorous for the continent? What about valorous for you?” Vesemir shrugged at him and Julian sighed again, the conversation was over between them but both could feel the tension in the air between them. 

“I must be getting back to my own room, I have to find work in the morning. It was lovely seeing you great Julian, may we meet again,” Vesemir stood as he spoke, bowing very shallowly as Julian stood as well.

“Be not a stranger Vesemir, may we meet soon. Give Barmin my thoughts,” Vesemir left, the flower and its petals clutched in his hands and Julian watched his receding figure before turning to look at Regis and Dettlaff.

His brothers were dancing with small maidens, and instead of ruining their mood he left the party and headed back to the house. He needed some time alone, maybe he could follow Vesemir for a bit, to make sure he was safe on his jobs.

-

He followed Vesemir, because he had to. The mayor of their small town had sent him on a job that could kill him, a nest of Kikimora, dangerous for even Julian on any given day. He survived of course because Julian was the one who trained him in fighting, but Julian felt the pull to follow him more. So he did. 

He stayed downwind as much as possible, staying up at night and watching over his friend as he meditated. He hunted for himself and always made sure Vesemir had food, and when he didn’t Julian managed to injure an animal right beside his camp so Vesemir would catch the scent of blood.

Vesemir had to know he was there, the man was a Hunter, but he didn’t say anything and Julian wasn’t going to either. 

Every time they came into civilization Julian watched Vesemir pull his hood up and lower his head, trying to blend in, difficult to do with his gorgeous golden eyes and his swords, but no one bothered him too much. Julian stayed out of the town outskirts, eating the animals he could - not that he needed to, he just liked it - and the vegetation of the land. 

Vesemir seemed to wander more than he did, his feet taking him places as his mind was silent. Julian was feeling confident as the weeks carried on and he slowly edged forward, moving closer with every passing day.

It was a couple of weeks later when he finally announced his presence properly by stepping on a twig. Vesemir spun around with a grin and Julian smiled at him before walking closer and falling into step beside the young man. 

They walked in silence like before and it was only when they reached the campsite did they start talking to the other. Vesemir set the camp up while Julian went hunting, it reminded him of the first few months when he was with Vesemir and the others before they found Kaer Morhen. As dinner was cooking, a few rabbits, Julian hummed and Vesemir looked up at him. 

"You knew I was following you, yet you allowed me?" Julian tilted his head slightly as he leaned back on his arms and looked at his friend. 

"Aye, you may not have a heartbeat but I can smell the scent of death following you," Julian barked out a laugh and Vesemir laughed with him for a few seconds. 

"Are you declaring I smell bad Vesemir?" Julian tore a piece of meat off the bone and waved it at him dramatically.

"I am not declaring you smell nice. When was the last time you bathed?" Julian shrugged and looked back at the hunter before he started to hum a small tune again, Vesemir smiling at him softly. 

-

Julian followed him until Winter came knocking and Vesemir said something about heading south before he couldn't, Julian was heading back north to his brothers. A Winter of them pining like the years before. 

He walked Vesemir as south as he could, the weather turning around them and on the last day they were together Julian handed him a piece of parchment with his house address on it, all of them, in case Vesemir or Barmin ever needed him. He watched his friend walk down the road, his swords on his back the last thing he saw before he was gone for the season. 

Julian turned back north and headed to Oxenfurt, his brothers and him had heard tell of a school being built there and he wanted to see it happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, you can find me on Tumblr at agnew-writer!


	3. This is my temporary home (It's not where I belong)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sat in their Oxenfurt apartment with Regis and Dettlaff, watching them build the newest toy for the humans. The Oxenfurt Academy.
> 
> [Title from Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a couple hours late I had things going on today!

They say cities aren’t built in a day, but they can fall in a day, and Julian agrees. He had watched the humans tear down the Elven ruins that Oxenfurt sat on and build their city on the bones of the dead. He had watched Kings rise, and Kings fall. He had been alive through centuries of war and watched the innocents be killed in the name of peace. He watched entire civilizations become a power and then fall.

He sat in their Oxenfurt apartment with Regis and Dettlaff, watching them build the newest toy for the humans. The Oxenfurt Academy.

Julian and Regis were walking the streets, Dettlaff at home pouring over books, when they both heard the sound. It was faint at first, the soft music drifting from an open window a few houses down. It got louder as the player went, and Julian found himself mesmerised by the soft music, he heard something like it long ago when Elfs were a common sight in cities like this. He walked closer and stood under the open window, staring up as the player kept playing.

Regis was standing beside him and looking around before he pulled at Julian's sleeve gently, well gently for Regis, but Julian was transfixed and needed to know what it was. 

He waited until the person had stopped playing then knocked on the door, he could hear the person sigh and walk down the stairs, opening the door and staring at him.

"How can I help?" The man looked him up and down and Julian grinned.

"What was that music you were playing? It sounded marvelous," The man narrowed his eyes but didn't tell him to leave and Julian took that for a win.

"My lute?" Julian nodded and smiled, hiding his fangs behind his lips. "The traveller has one left, I think," The man pointed over at the square and the carts that had taken up residence there.

"I thank you, valorous sir, have a valorous day and a fruitful life," Julian bowed as he walked away, dragging Regis to the carts and looking around for the lute, he hadn't seen one in decades but he could ask around.

"Julian, do you really need a lute? I guarantee it will be forgotten soon," Regis was speaking quietly as they walked through the common folk, and Julian knew he was right in some sense but he had the money to buy one so why shouldn't he?

"Aye I know, but I want one. I might even take classes in the school at which hour it is finished," He looked towards the building area, he could take classes there, sure he might need to lie about his background but that wasn't something he hadn't done before. "Are you getting your Dettlaff anything?"

"We need nothing, although I might get him a new book," Regis looked back in the direction of their house and Julian rolled his eyes but kept quiet, the two were so hopelessly in love that Julian wasn't sure how they hadn't worked it out after a few decades. "What do you think?"

"I think he would like that," Julian smiled and picked up a small book from the table in front of him, he remembered when only the rich had been literate, but now it felt everything was, except maybe the poorest poor people.

Julian left Regis at the book cart and walked around until he found a cart of paper and a few hanging wooden objects, a few looked familiar from the bards he had heard and he grinned as he walked to them. He hummed a small tune to himself until the man turned around from another customer and saw him.

"Sir do you have a lute for sale?" The man nodded and Julian watched him pick up a wooden instrument, the wood pale and carved with small flowers. It was beautiful. "How much?" He asked as he took the instrument from him and stroked the strings gently, beautiful.

"For her? 50 Crowns," Julian scoffed at the high price but handed the coin over and looked around the cart as he spoke to the owner quietly about the care of lutes and the things he would need. He left the cart with a lute, three pots of wax, two sets of strings and a case, as well as being 150 Crowns less in coin.

Regis was also carrying more than he said he would buy, with six books in his arms and a smile on his face as he said a goodbye to the cart owner, Julian raised an eyebrow at his purchases and Regis did with his, both ignored the other and headed back to their home with smiles on their faces. Julian filled his case with the extra things he had bought before he swung it onto his back, now that he had empty hands he strummed a few strings, the music ringing out around them and Regis shook his head with a smile. 

As they walked into the front room and up the stairs to the library, which Dettlaff has commandeered as his, and walked in as quietly as they could to avoid disrupting him as he read. Julian placed his things on the soft seat beside the window and took the other seat beside it, while Regis sat opposite Dettlaff with the books he had bought him in his arms. 

"Dettlaff, I was able to get a few books for you," Regis smiled as he said his name and Dettlaff looked up at him with a small frown that turned into a grin when he saw Regis with the books.

"Thank you Regis, how can I repay you?" Regis shook his head as he placed the books at the table beside Dettlaff and stayed in the seat as Dettlaff picked the first one and started to read the first few pages, "It is wonderful, thank you," 

"You are welcome, may you enjoy these," Regis left the room with a smile and Julian took a glance at the books properly before he frowned in confusion,  _ Dettlaff had a few of them did he not?  _ Julian looked towards the pile of books and confirmed his thoughts as he spotted the copy of the books. 

"Do not dare Julian, he was being nice," Julian laughed slightly but left it and pulled his lute into his lap and let his fingers trace the carvings on it, the soft curves and dips into the perfectly waxed wood. "How much did that cost?" Dettlaff put his book down and looked at Julian.

"50 Crowns, the lady's a beauty," Julian handed her over to his friend and watched him trace the same carvings he had with a small smile, "I want to learn how to play, I might take classes in the school," Julian took the instrument back and grinned down at her.

"I was thinking of teaching there," Dettlaff pulled a quill out of the inkwell and started to take notes in the book he had opened. Julian started on his own work with the notes he had been given by the traveller. 

The soft strumming of this lute cushioned them as they worked, the fire crackling and the movements of Regis in the kitchen keeping them in the present. Julian tried to move his fingers like he had saw bards had in the taverns and after a couple of hours he had a few finger placements which sounded nice and not like dragging his nails across a chalkboard. 

Regis brought a few plates of food up to them, crackers and cheese with raw meat and Julian and Dettlaff took the food gratefully before the three of them settled into the library for a couple of hours or until the morning sun startled them into remembering they were still working.

-

It was a couple of years before the school was finally complete, Dettlaff had decided to go away for a few years and Regis wanted to go back to their Toussaint house and make a new type of wine with new knowledge he had gotten from the books he read with Dettlaff. Julian stayed in Oxenfurt, he enrolled into the school and picked up classes for bards and the arts. As he finished his first year the administrators brought in a painter and Julian was shoved into the middle of the group so they could get everyone in the painting. He tried to obscure his face but the painter was not having it, and after a long few months he was finally able to see his face on the portrait and he cursed, he would have to pretend he didn't see the resemblance if he ever came back and someone questioned it. 

He graduated after four years and in 992 he was offered a teaching job, he accepted and sent a note out to Dettlaff that there was also a place for him when he was back, Julian taught his students and in his free time he wrote songs about the history of the Continent, he was recognised as an aspiring bard and awarded at the Fall Bard Competition. Regis and Dettlaff came back and Julian settled in for a Winter with his brothers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t my favorite chapter but a necessary one for later!


	4. Hello, my old heart (How have you been?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been over a decade since he had last seen them, the scar that cut his eyebrow now joined by a scar on his chin that didn't look fully healed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Title from Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos]

Julian Aldous was a poor farmer turned Oxenfurt loved teacher, Julian lived with his cousins Regis and Dettlaff, the latter also a teacher, and students could almost always finds the three of them in The Unicorn, a bar known for its seedy reputation, but was loved by Oxenfurt students and staff alike. It was one of those nights where Julian was alone that he spotted those eyes again. It had been over a decade since he had last seen them, the scar that cut his eyebrow now joined by a scar on his chin that didn't look fully healed.

Julian faltered in his story to younger students and shook his head before he looked away and tried to finish the story of a young boy running away from a Basilisk and falling into a pit of snakes, not his most dramatic story but it had been requested and he wasn't one to disappoint. As he finished his story he looked back to Vesemir and watched him raise his drink in greeting before taking a sip, Julian stood from his table and walked over to his friend with a smile.

"How I have missed you my dear friend," Julian sat opposite him and called for a drink with his hand, "What brings you to this place?"

"Julian," Vesemir nodded his head and Julian grinned, "I'm here on work, hopefully," Vesemir placed another coin on the table and the tavern maid took it as she placed Julian's drink down. "Another please,"

"Of course Sir." The maid left in a hurry and Julian took a sip of the shit ale as he watched his friend over the rim of the mug. Vesemir raised an eyebrow but stayed silent as they looked at each other. Julian looked down to Vesemir's hands and watched as his sword calloused fingers tightened around the mug, small scars covering them. 

"So Vesemir how have you been? It has been over a decade since you last blessed me with your presence. I thought I told you not to be a stranger friend," Vesemir shrugged and Julian rolled his eyes but took another drink. 

"Kaer Morhen needed me, we are up to 50 odd now. Other schools have started already, I want to say we have Vipers, Bears and Griffins now along with us. I started to teach lessons during the Winter as well," Julian raised his eyebrows at him, new schools of Hunters, or Witchers as the Continent had taken to call them lately. 

"More schools? Is that safe? What happened for a split?" Julian leaned forward onto his hands and watched Vesemir, he was aware of the people watching him in the tavern but he ignored them for his friend instead. 

"They didn't agree with our way of dealing with things. They wanted to be their own kind of Witcher, and well they left. It's been a long decade friend," Julian hummed in agreement, "I think the Griffins are the most like us, they are more chivalrous, the Vipers are completely different, he was always different even in training so I can't say I didn't see it coming," Vesemir grimaced and Julian narrowed his eyes in confusion but let the conversation fall into silence. 

As the crowds started to leave the two of them stayed at the small table, drinking and playing card games, when the keeper finally kicked them out they wandered the streets for an hour or so. Julian didn't want to leave his friend again, he knew that it would be years until the next time they met again and he really didn't want that to be how it was. Vesemir also wasn't making excuses to leave earlier and as they settled into a field on the outside of the gates they looked into the sky. 

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we never found Kaer Morhen?" Julian looked over to Vesemir as the Witcher spoke softly, and he nodded, he thought about it a lot. "I do, I think we would have all died on that mountain, they would have killed us and then tried again somewhere else." Julian shivered at the idea and instinctively moved closer to Vesemir.

"I would have torn them apart, limb from limb, if they ever hurt you," Julian closed his eyes and the images of Vesemir and Barmin strapped to the table as they screamed showed themselves. 

"They did hurt me, they hurt us all. I can still feel the pain of the poisons in my veins, the stench of our own puke as we screamed," Vesemir shook his head and groaned, "I am far too drunk if I am talking about this,"

"Some days I wonder what would have happened if I never went up that damned mountain, if I ignored that fucking pull to chaos," Julian opened his eyes again and looked over to Vesemir, the man being closer than before. "I can still kill them if you want,"

"You can't now, you should come back one year. No one has touched your room, Barmin and I keep it clean for you," Julian let out a small laugh as Vesemir spoke, it sounded so simple. Just go back, live in his room where he stayed for a decade. Was it really a decade? It had to be longer surely? 

"I don't think I can go back yet, I haven't even seen Barmin since I left," It was an unspoken thing between them, they never said it but it hurt them both, "I don't think he would want to see me again,"

"He misses you, I miss you. You would like Aubry, he is a new Witcher, young thing. He saved a Wolf from starvation, nearly starved himself but it was sweet," Julian sighed, rubbing his face with his hand and letting it fall beside him. "The offer is always open, come visit us,"

"I'll think about it, now tell me do you have a name for yourselves? You mentioned Griffins, Bears and Vipers, yet I didn't hear your name yet," Julian tilted his head slightly and Vesemir hummed at him.

“The Wolf School. Loyal and a pack,” Julian nodded, that did sound like the men he knew, “It was Barmin’s idea, he was watching the animals around the place and decided we acted like them,”

“You do, or well I think you do. Vampires are friends with wolves so I know a little bit about them,” Julian hummed softly, his mind filling with the similarities as he grinned, “You both like piling up for warmth and affection, you both have a deep care for young and how can I forget your deep need for love and affection?” 

“We are not like that Julian, we cuddle close for warmth in the winter that is it,” Vesemir seemed to be convincing himself of the fact and Julian laughed gently.

“Ahh yes my dear Wolf I know,” Vesemir scowled and downed the last of his bottle before he threw it at Julian. “Oh my! What a disgrace,”

“You are so full of shit Julian,” Vesemir stood, swaying only slightly as he helped Julian up, “I think I should be getting back, I have to find work tomorrow dear friend,”

“I’ll walk you home dear, maybe sober you up before you get a terrible headache tomorrow,” Julian pulled his friend close as they walked into town, swaying as they did but they didn’t care.

“I don’t get sore heads, all that pain stopped me.” Julian’s heart ached slightly at the casual mention of the pain Vesemir went through and he pushed it away with a fake smile.

“I know dear, let’s get you to bed now,” Julian pushed the door open to the town inn and looked around for the owner, most likely in bed at such a late time. “Uhh Vesemir, you wouldn’t happen to have your key?”

“Don’t need a key, I’m in the stables,” Julian stopped for a second and narrowed his eyes slightly _ , he was in the stables?  _ “What do you mean? What room are you in?” 

Vesemir shrugged and tried to walk out the room towards the back. “Are they making you stay in the stables?”

“It’s okay, I have Pebbles for company,” Julian shushed Vesemir gently and pulled at the man’s shirt before walking outside again.

“You can sleep in the spare room tonight,” Julian maneuvered them around the narrow streets and only stopped when they were outside his house. It was a moderate one that they had built themselves but it was home for now.

“Julian?” Vesemir sounded more like himself as he said his name and Julian smiled at him. “Uh where are we? I have a room,”

“No you don’t, you have a stable. No friend of mine is sleeping with horses, you can have our spare room.” Julian opened the door and whispered a greeting to his brothers before he pushed the door closest to them open and shoved Vesemir inside.

“Why are you being nice? I was fine with the horse,” Vesemir stood awkwardly beside him as he attempted to clean the dust off the room and he sighed before turning to him.

“I wasn’t letting you stay there, if they were up I would have given them a piece of my mind! You are someone who saves them and they repay you like that? Shame on them,” Julian cursed softly when he gripped the bed too hard and left a handprint mark in it but he ignored it and looked to Vesemir.

“Thank you? I, uh, don’t know what to say,” Julian shook his head with amusement but gestured to the bed.

“No worries my dear friend, now sleep and in the morning we shall meet for food and a discussion,” Julian left the room with a bow and headed to his own room for a short nap.

Morning came and as the light poured into his room he sighed but stood to start his day. He cleaned himself up first and when he walked down the stairs to greet Vesemir he was met with an empty room.

“He left,” Julian whispered into the quietness, he glanced at the bed, made up, and the bedside table had been dusted carefully but he could not spot a note in the room. 

He stood in the silence for a few minutes before he heard Regis walking down the corridor to him. He felt his hand fall in his shoulder and Julian looked up to him. 

“I’m sorry Julian, maybe he had work?” Julian shook his head but followed his brother for their morning meal.

“I’m sorry he left, you’ll meet him again soon,” Dettlaff clapped his back and Julian tried to smile but it didn’t quite feel right to him. He went about with his day, keeping an ear out in the heartbeat to slow to be human, but as the day grew to an end he sighed and looked to the sky, Vesemir was gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Remember me I ask (Remember me I sing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Get up you useless man," Vesemir grinned, and Julian took the free hand he offered and he was pulled up to his feet. "Why didn't you kill it?"
> 
> [Chapter Title from The Horror and The Wild by The Amazing Devil]

Julian wasn't the kind of man to make many mistakes, sure he made a few but they weren't as life threatening as forgetting his swords in a forest full of monsters. He was hunting for fresh blood for himself and he didn't really think about taking another weapon except his fangs, but even he disliked the taste of monsters. When the monster jumped out at him as he was dragging the deer corpse away he groaned but dropped his meal and ran, ignoring the voices he could hear from behind him and when he had climbed the closest tree he looked down and was surprised to see the monster scream a horrible sound as it was sliced in half and Vesemir stood behind the fallen corpse, head in his hand. 

Julian jumped down, not looking at his landing site and promptly fell as he landed in a pool of blood, the blood splashing and he grimaced when he tasted some of it. He spat it out and watched as Vesemir laughed at him and leaned over him.

"Get up you useless man," Vesemir grinned, and Julian took the free hand he offered and he was pulled up to his feet. "Why didn't you kill it?"

"Well dear, you see I forgot to bring my swords," Vesemir shook his head in disbelief and muttered something which made Julian gasp, "Is that any way to treat your elders?" 

"Oh please you are hardly that old," Vesemir started to walk away and Julian shook his head with a laugh, "Are you coming?"

"Oh yes I am, I need to go and get the deer I killed for food," Vesemir pushed him in front and Julian started to walk the way that he had just run, following the smell of the dead animal. "It's been dead for too long now, I can’t eat that," he huffed, but didn’t say anything else. 

Vesemir rolled his eyes but kept quiet as they moved through the forest and came into the area where Julian had abandoned his kill, he lifted it onto his shoulders and felt the blood drip onto his clothes, he looked to Vesemir and nodded. "I am ready to go,"

The two of them walked together, the monster smelling like death and the deer cooling rapidly in his hold as they left the woods and entered the cottage gardens that he had for the month. He pointed at the monster head and Vesemir dropped it at the gate and they walked into the cottage with the deer dripping blood as they walked, Julian dropped the corpse on the table and grabbed the mug he used for blood and watched as it dripped in with a sigh. 

"So Julian how have you been?" Julian looked at his friend over his cup and took a sip with a grimace, he missed the taste of fresh, alive blood. 

"It's been good, I taught at the school for a few years and I am on a year break, travelling the Continent in search of the next aspiring bards. How have you been?" Julian could feel the tension in the air, the unspoken  _ why did you leave?. _

"I took up a few jobs in Toussaint, met a lovely woman and her daughter." Vesemir looked out the window and sighed before he spoke again, "I didn't want to leave,"

"Why did you?" Julian put his cup down and planted his hands on the table behind him as Vesemir kept staring out the window. "Was it something I did?"

"No." He stopped and took his dagger out before he flipped it around a few times, "I don't know why I left, why did you?" It was Julian's turn to look outside and they were silent for a couple of minutes. 

"Come to the study, we can talk," Julian picked a few bottles of wine up and led the way to the small study in the cottage. "Please sit," he gestured to the seats beside the fire and Vesemir sat down as he sat opposite him. Julian passed two bottles over to his friend and he kept a couple for himself, they wouldn't get drunk from them but it would be nice to have for the awkwardness that was sure to follow. 

"I owe you an explanation," Julian spoke after a minute of silence and Vesemir nodded as he took a drink, they were quiet for a little while, Julian trying to get his thoughts in order. 

“I left all those years ago because I couldn't do it anymore." He finally said to the room and he could feel Vesemir’s questioning gaze on him. 

"Do what?" Vesemir asked and Julian smiled sadly. 

"All of it, I was being selfish, I didn't want to watch you or Barmin hurt anymore, I couldn't do it," He shivered at just talking about it but kept going, "I can still hear your screams and begs for death as they tortured you and I couldn't do anything, I felt like I was an outsider again," 

"I wanted to turn, you know how much I wanted to be a hunter," Julian nodded in understanding, he could remember the conversations they had in the library about him being a Hunter, "It is my destiny,"

"Destiny can go fuck herself, you don't know how close you were to dying. Barmin stopped breathing at one point, you were so small, so innocent and they fucking tore that from you," Julian took a drink and shook his head with a grimace, he didn't talk about it, it hurt too much. 

"The life of a Witcher is hard but it is the way we live," Julian looked at his friend, he could see Barmin reflected in his set shoulders and the way he spoke, so sure of himself and the way of life.  _ Fuck him, fuck Barmin for hurting him and so many others _ .

"You could have lived a normal life at your home, how do you feel knowing that Barmin ripped you from your mother's hold?" It was a low blow, they both knew how he felt about being a child of surprise. 

"Fuck you, Barmin has been the closest thing to a father than that asshole ever was," Vesemir downed the last of his first bottle and Julian stayed silent for a hit, waiting for Vesemir to speak again. "I left because I didn't want to feel like you cared, how long have we been doing this Julian? You've been a constant in my life for 33 years now, you have seen me as a human and this mutant I am now. You know how fucked up I am but you still sit and drink with me? Why?"

"Why wouldn't I? You were the first one to ask my name and you know what I am. You cared when no one else did, and I like you for that Ves,” Julian downed his own drink and opened the second, hoping for some excuse to stop talking about the subject. 

“Fuck this. Give me another,” Vesemir held his hand out and Julian passed another bottle before they stared at the books in the room. 

“I am sorry, I know that doesn’t mean much but I am,” Julian didn’t cry around others, he hated how weak it made him, but his vision blurred with bushed tears and he rubbed his eyes harshly. 

“I know.” Vesemir said nothing else and Julian stayed quiet as well, there was nothing they could say to each other to make up for it. 

-

Julian didn’t stay in the cottage for the rest of the month, he travelled with Vesemir. He also didn’t go back to his brothers either, instead staying with Vesemir for the rest of the year. 

Before Vesemir left for Kaer Morhen they decided to meet up at the start of spring. Their winters were spent in different cities but both were looking forward to the new year more than they had ever in a long time. 

As the snow started to melt Julian made his way north into Ard Carraigh and Vesemir started his journey down the Blue Mountains. 

-

They kept the pattern up for years, traveling together and leaving the other in Ard Carraigh for the winter before they went their separate ways. 

In the sixth year of their arrangement Vesemir came down the mountains with an extra thing, a small bag. Julian didn’t ask about it at first, but as they settled down for a meal together the bag was placed on the table. 

“It's for you, you won’t come back so I brought some things for you,” Vesemir pushed the bag over and Julian opened it carefully. 

He gasped at Vesemir as he pulled the first thing he could see, it was one of his notebooks he had left in the keep, the one he sketched everything in. He opened it to a random page and smiled, it was Vesemir and Barmin in the library having a nap at the fire, the date writing at the bottom  _ 971. _

“I remember that day, you were so tired from practice and you practically collapsed into his arms,” Julian traced the lines carefully and flipped to the next page. 

He felt a wave of sadness as he stared at the lines he had drawn, it was Vesemir and one of the younger boys who didn’t make it, little Lyta, he died before the trials could even be tested on him. 

He closed the books carefully and looked into the bag at the other things. A flask of what smells like vodka, a few glass jars of flowers and a small dagger he didn’t recognize. 

“Ves I think you picked up an extra dagger,” Julian pulled the object out and tried to hand it over to Vesemir but he shook his head. 

“It’s yours. I was learning how to make daggers this year with the blacksmith, I made it for you,” Julian gasped slightly and looked at the dagger in his hand. 

“It’s beautiful,” he touched the small stone set into the end of the handle and smiled as he threw it and caught it again. “I will keep it safe,” 

“You better, I also have some news,” Julian tilted his head and he put the dagger down to give Vesemir his attention. “I was asked to teach at the keep again. It’s a twenty year place and I won’t be able to leave during the year,” 

“Oh, when do you start?” Julian tried to smile but he couldn’t and he knew Vesemir could smell his sadness. 

“I haven’t accepted yet. I said I would tell them by summer solstice, I wanted to tell you first and ask if you would come to the keep with me. Not for the whole twenty years but I’ve grown used to you year round,” Vesemir took a sip of his drink as he finished speaking and looked at Julian expectedly. 

“I don’t know if I can,” Julian finally said, his voice quiet as he tried to imagine himself back in Kaer Morhen with Vesemir and Barmin, the others there. He tried to imagine himself going through all the pain he felt the first time when the boys were out through their trials. “I’m sorry Ves, I don’t know if I can,” 

“It’s okay, you don’t need to. I’ll send them a message later in the year,” Vesemir picked up his half eaten food and the conversation was dropped like that. 

They spent their year like usual, taking contracts and ignoring the inevitable split that would come. As the days got colder they spent more nights awake together, more nights cuddling in for ‘heat’ and more nights in silence. 

When they finally made their way up north to Ard Carraigh they were both reluctant to leave, but when the first snow fell Vesemir left, Julian watched his retreating figure before heading south. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr at agnew_writer!


	6. I'm thinking way back, To where I'm from (To the things I had)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So where is your Knight then?” Tissaia finished her cup and waved her hand for it to refill and refilled Julian’s at the same time.
> 
> “Oh he was to nice for everyone, he took up a teaching position for 20 years at Kaer Morhen,” He sighed dramatically and took a drink before he looked to Tissaia expectantly, “I am to be alone for so long,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Thomas Sanders On the Borderline

Julian didn’t go back to Oxenfurt. He knew he couldn’t go back to Oxenfurt anyway, he had been working there for close to four decades and well, he did not look like a 60 year old man so someone would catch on about his youthful appearance soon. He mourned the loss of another identity for a few moments before he was wandering aimlessly, he had gotten as far as the Rinde before he got the news that a friend of his was near Vengerberg, so he went turned east and walked to her. 

It took him a couple weeks but as he entered the small village on the outskirts of Vengerberg he rejoiced at the feeling of a bed under his back in the nights. He stayed in the inn for a couple of nights before he went around asking if anyone had seen his dear friend, when he came up empty after the third day he sighed and set out for the next town. 

He travelled an extra two weeks before he came to the last village before the main city and finally heard about the witch he was looking for. He passed through with a smile and knocked on the door he was told to before it opened and Tissaia smiled at him. 

“Well look at you, come in old man,” Julian huffed in amusement but walked in and smiled at the decoration of the newest house. “Sit down, I’ll bring you a drink,”

“If you have a good wine I would never say no,” Julian took his travel coat and draped it over a seat before he sat down on the bench beside the fire. Tissaia wandered in with two bottles of wine and cups for them both. “You are an absolute dear,” 

“So Jules where have you been?” Tissaia poured a cup for them both and looked to Julian as she took a drink. 

“Here and there,” He took a drink himself, “Travelling with Vesemir for a little bit,” That got the reaction he thought he would get, Tissaia straightened up and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh Vesemir again?” She smirked and Julian could feel her trying to push into his mind even if it was almost impossible, “Do tell,”

“We travelled for a few years, we met after winter every year and stayed together for a while,” He stopped and watched her groan before she gestured for him to continue, “He brought me somethings from Kaer Morhen, and a dagger,” 

“He got you a gift? Let’s see it then,” Julian pulled the dagger out of his boot and passed it over to the sorceress. She flipped it a few times and Julian watched her eyes shimmer with slight magic and he could feel the Chaos around them. 

“It’s well made, he had someone spell it gently so you wouldn’t break it,” Julian grinned wide and took it back from her before he flipped it a few times, it was a good spell if he couldn’t feel the Chaos on it. 

“He is so sweet,” He sighed slightly and leaned back on the bench, “He always waited until he was at the camp to kill the animal so I could get fresh blood when I wanted it, he knew I preferred deer and rabbit,” He knew he sounded like a maiden in love but Tissaia had seen him like it before. 

“So where is your Knight then?” Tissaia finished her cup and waved her hand for it to refill and refilled Julian’s at the same time.

“Oh he was to nice for everyone, he took up a teaching position for 20 years at Kaer Morhen,” He sighed dramatically and took a drink before he looked to Tissaia expectantly, “I am to be alone for so long,”

“You are never alone Julian, everyone likes you,” She grinned and Julian hummed in agreement before he looked around the room, filled with magical artifacts and plants everywhere. “Although if you are looking for work the school here do need a teacher,” 

“Where is this school?” Julian perked up at the opportunity of a job and Tissaia laughed slightly. “Does it come with a house?”

“I am sure it does, you can talk to the mayor tomorrow morning, come reminisce on the past with me,” Julian grinned widely and took another drink before he fell into laughing about the past with his friend. 

-

He did stay for the teaching position, he got Tissaia to send a message to Regis and Dettlaff so he was good to spend his days in Vengerberg for a while. The pay wasn’t great, but he loved teaching the younger students and letting them have fun instead of helping their family in the fields, they at least had a chance if they got educated. 

He met a few of Tissaia’s friends, a few mages and common folk, and he watched as the years passed by, the children he taught growing up and their kids coming to learn from him. He knew he wouldn’t be able stay too long, they would see that he wasn’t aging the way he should be, that he was still a 20 year old man. 

He was in his 15th year of teaching when he got asked the first time, he played it off with saying that Tissaia had made him a cream, then over the years he was asked more and more, with someone going as far as calling him Fae, and not even Tissaia could make it seem like she was using her magic to keep him younger. 

He said goodbye to his friend, and in his 19th year he left the village, a promise to visit Tissaia soon, and a small souvenir to remember his years there. He headed north again, hoping to settle in a town for a few months before he could meet Vesemir in Ard Carraigh. 

He found a little village who needed a hunter for a season and he settled in well, he made friends with the baker and his wife, as well as the other hunters he went out with. They were kind, the baker letting him use the spare bed they had for only a fee of fresh meat when he could, it was nice. He liked to spend his days with them at the fire, talking and laughing with a bottle, and when the first snow fell he grimaced but kept going into the cold to get wood, meat and furs for the town. 

It was a cold winter, it felt like the wind wanted to freeze you as you walked and Julian made sure to keep the small village safe from monsters around them, he wasn’t going to let anyone get hurt under his watch, they were his friends. The days got even colder, the nights starting earlier and becoming longer before the sun only stayed in the sky for an hour or two a day. 

Then the days got longer, the sun turning the layers of snow and ice into slush and water, the others were able to leave their houses for longer than a few hours every day, and when he ventured into the forest a few miles away looking for herbs he smiled. The ground was bright greens and yellows, purple and red flowers dotted around the field; it was beautiful. 

He kept coming back to the field, bringing small picnics with him and in the third or fourth week he could hear someone close by, the flowers were too strong to really scent who it was but when the figure emerged from the trees beside he yelped and fell into the flowers. 

“I’m not here to hurt you,” The voice called out and Julian wanted to die, he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, or for a monster to just kill him. He was one with the flowers now, he wasn’t moving ever. He had fallen  _ yet again  _ in front of Vesemir. “Oh Julian, I didn’t expect to see you this early,” 

Vesemir dropped to his knees and Julian pushed himself from the ground, feeling the wet grass soak his clothes but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He turned his head to look at Vesemir and grinned at him. “I got a job,”

“Did you? What is it?” Vesemir sat beside him.

“I am a hunter, they needed someone to go out in the cold and well I was free,” He brushed his hands on his trousers and huffed when he watched the dirt mark them. “I need new clothes,” 

“I have a few extra trousers in my pack if you want them until we get to the village,” Vesemir gestured to his pack and Julian shrugged, “You are soaked through, better to keep you warm than freeze you,” 

“Thank you Ves,” He pushed himself from the ground and grimaced when the mud made his clothes stick to his body, “I want to burn these,” He wouldn’t do it, he liked the colors too much but he could pretend. 

“I’ll give you space, you can wear what you want,” Vesemir passed his pack over and Julian took it from him before he watched his friend turn and face the trees surrounding them. 

“Yes, changing,” It was like the time they spent travelling again, wearing the others clothes and giving the other privacy. He looked through the pack for an outfit that would suit him, Vesemir may be younger than him but the man never wore color.

He pulled on a white shirt, a bit long for him but he tucked it into the brown trousers he took, he rolled his clothes up and pushed them into his satchel before he smiled, “Thank you Ves,”   
Vesemir turned around and stared at him for a second before coughing and looking away. 

“You have a,” Vesemir leaned over, his hands going to Julian's hair and the vampire frieze before he felt Vesemir pull something from his hair. He showed Julian a small yellow flower and grinned, “A buttercup,” 

“Why thank you my dear,” Julian took the flower and sniffed it gently, sweet and soft, before he placed it back on the ground. “Are you needing food? What am I saying, you always need food,”

“I won’t say no to a meal,” Vesemir stood as well and the two started to walk in the direction of the town. “So what are you doing this far north?” 

“I was in Vengerberg for a couple decades, but they started to question my good looks, so I headed south last year looking for a job to keep me busy until you were back on the Path,” Julian pulled at the thread on the shirt and grinned at his friend. “And this little town needed a hunter, the baker and his wife are lovely, they let me sleep in the spare room,”

“It sounds nice,” Vesemir turned to him again and laughed, he picked another flower from his hair and looked down at it again, “Another buttercup,”

“What can I say? They must like me,” He smiled and bowed slightly for dramatics before Vesemir stopped him with a hand and placed the flower behind his ear, pushing a strand behind his ear carefully as he did. 

“There you go,” They stared at each other for a second before Vesemir looked away and shook his head, Julian followed him and they walked a little more, “Buttercups also are called Jaskier,”

“Yeah, they can be used to poison in high doses,” They didn’t look at each other and Julian felt his hands shake slightly before he clasped them together, “But if you dry them they go good for tea,”

“Yeah they are,” They walked into the village and the people waved to Julian as he walked and no one seemed to question Vesemir with him. 

“We should get some food into you, Jonathan and Lucy make the best bread and I just brought back fresh meat this morning for them,” Julian pulled Vesemir into the centre of town and into the small bakery beside the house he had been staying at.

“Julian, dear, what happened?” Lucy moved over to him, pulling him into a hug and Julian smiled. “Where are your clothes?”

“Oh well, I fell in the fields and lovely Vesemir here, gave me his spare clothes so I wouldn’t catch my death from the cold,” Lucy looked behind him and startled at Vesemir, moving away quickly and the smell of fear filled up the room.

“Julian he's a, you know,” Julian nodded and tilted his head slightly, “A witcher,” She whispered and held her fingers up in a cross, like that would protect her. 

“Is he? I never noticed,” Julian laughed and pulled Vesemir close to him, squeezing his hand slightly, “He is a friend of mine, and has been for decades,” 

“Oh, oh. But. No,” Lucy moved away again and Julian sighed but looked to Vesemir expectantly.

“I’m not here to hurt you, I am a friend of Julian’s.” He held his hands up in a peace sign but Lucy didn’t seem to relax at all, not until Julian sighed and looked into her eyes and held his hand out slightly. 

“Vesemir is a friend, he won’t hurt you or Jonathon, he won’t hurt anyone in the town,” He felt Vesmier tense behind him and watched Lucy as her eyes dimmed slightly and she relaxed around his compulsion. 

“Julian you know how I hate that,” Vesemir whispered into his ear and Julian huffed but didn’t say anything as Lucy nodded. 

“Hello Julian and Vesemir, how can I help you today?” Julian smiled and let go of Vesemir's hand before he sat at the small table with him.

“We would like a bowl of stew and fresh bread please,” He pulled some coins out and placed them on the table as he watched Lucy go back into the kitchen and talk to her husband, he turned to Vesemir and grinned. “So dear Ves, how were your teaching years?”

“Fun, I was the fencing instructor, I kept a few journals to show you what I did,” He pulled a leather bound book and handed it over to Julian and he open dit to a page and smiled, he could still smell Kaer Morhen in the pages, the stone and metal, the snow that surrounded them, the Chaos that never seemed to leave. 

“I can’t wait to read them,” He paced the book on the table and turned to see Lucy come out the kitchen with their meals, “We can continue this later I hope?” 

“Later, are you travelling this year?” Julian could hear the hope in his voice, the question he really wanted to ask but couldn’t. 

“Yes I think I want to travel with you this year if you would permit it,” He took a bite of the bread and Vesemir smiled at him.

“I would love to have you,” Vesmier ate his own food and the two of them talked about everything they could through dinner and settled in Julian’s room for the night. 


	7. Am I allowed (To look at him like that?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I won’t back out,” Vesemir repeated and Julian dropped the conversation as they kept walking south.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is sex in this if that isn’t your thing. Starts from them getting into the bedroom and finished when you see the italic letter.
> 
> Title adapted from She by Dodie

Julian had been dragging Vesemir along on his Path for a few weeks when the witcher finally breaks and asks him where they are going. They were more south than normal, and it was for good reason. 

“Well Regis sent me a letter saying he was in our Toussaint property with Dettlaff and I haven’t seen them in a decade or so, I want you to meet them,” Julian could hear when Vesemir’s heart picked up slightly and looked over with a frown, “You don’t have too, I can tell them you were busy,” 

“No I want to. It’s just. They are family to you right?” Julian nods and Vesemir continues, “What if they don’t like me?” 

“Why wouldn’t they? You are my closest.. friend, and they know I care about you,” Julian didn't mean to stop at the word friend but he knew Vesemir heard it. 

“I’m sorry, I’m worrying and it will probably be fine,” He ran a hand through his hair and Julian frowned again, Vesemir was nervous. 

“Dear you don’t have to go, I understand that meeting vampires can make you nervous or scared,” Julian tried to push the fear that Vesemir would leave and not come with him to meet his family, he wanted them to know each other. 

“I’m not scared, I want to meet them,” Vesemir sounded sure of himself as he spoke, his head held high but Julian could still hear his heartbeat going too fast for a witcher. 

“Okay, we still have a week or so traveling so you have time to back out,” Julian hoped he didn’t back out. He really didn’t want to wait for a few more years until he can introduce the three of them. 

“I won’t back out,” Vesemir repeated and Julian dropped the conversation as they kept walking south. 

The days went by and with each night that they settled in for food Julian kept himself from asking if Vesemir really wanted to go, he stopped himself from deviating from their Path and heading away from Toussaint, but he knew Vesemir would call him out on it. So as they entered the main city he bit his lips and kept himself from saying anything. 

Their house was on the outskirts of the main city, a four bedroom house with a beautiful view of the vineyards it sat on, and as Julian opened the front door he was met with a shout from Regis and being pulled into a hug by his brother. 

“Julian how are you? Is this the famous Vesemir? Come in, come in,” Regis pulled them both into the main area, the seats had been moved to allow space for everyone and a table in the middle, and Julian sat down at the opposite side of the seat to Vesemir. 

“Regis this is Vesemir, Vesemir this is Regis,” They shook hands and Regis started to talk to Vesemir about the weather while Julian looked to the shadows and looked for Dettlaff. “Come on out Dettlaff, come and say hello,”

Dettlaff moved into the room and huffed as he said hello to Vesemir and sat beside Regis, the conversation drifted into work and Julian made sure that they both knew that Vesemir was a hero in many towns and villages, because the witcher wasn’t going to do it himself.

“You should have seen him saving the small kid, poor thing smelt of fear but Ves saved the day,” Vesemir shook his head as Julian recounted the tale with exaggerated hand movements but Regis was very into the story and Julian wasn’t one to disappoint. “He ripped the head off the monster off and drove his sword into the other before lifting the kid and running to safety,”    


“You forgot to say that you were there and killing it with me,” Julian flushed as Vesemir turned his attention to him alone and he knew Regis was watching them both. 

“I wasn’t the hero, you were,” Julian patted Vesemir’s hand and turned to see his brothers grinning at them both. “How have you been? It’s been a decade or so since I last saw you,”

“It has. The school are very sad to hear of your passing and they named a library after you,” Julian grinned as Dettlaff spoke, a library named for him was an achievement, “I am also dead according to them, a terrible accident with a drowner, and Regis and I are wandering for a few years,” 

“So sad that you died, my condolences,” Julian let out a small laugh as Dettlaff faked a sigh and frowned, “I give it 50 years until we can go back, I might get a different degree,” 

“You should get a botanical one,” Vesemir spoke up and Julian turned to him with a smile, “You could then teach if you wanted too,” 

“I might learn something new,” Julian hummed, his mind already running with a different persona for that life. “I would miss you and traveling with you,” 

“I could be persuaded to stay close, always monsters in populated areas,” Vesemir smiled and Julian could feel his brother's eyes burning into his skull when he looked away from Vesemir. 

“I think I could persuade you,” Julian whispered, almost too quiet for anyone but them to hear. 

A knock at the door stopped any further discussion and when Regis moved to answer it Julian looked at Dettlaff who frowned, he knew what his brother was trying to say but he ignored it. 

Regis walked back into the room carrying a tray of food and Julian grinned as it was placed in front of them all, “I decided to get the baker to make us some food,” 

“Thank you Regis, it looks wonderful,” Julian took a slice of bread and meat before tasting it,  _ perfect.  _

“Thank you, I could never repay you for your hospitality,” Vesemir bowed his head slightly and Regis hummed. 

“You have no need to, a friend of Julian’s is a friend of ours,” Dettlaff nodded in agreement and started to eat his own food. 

As they ate and talked about anything that they could, and when the alcohol came out the night delved into talking about past encounters. Julian wasn’t a stranger to Vesemir’s nightly encounters but they had never discussed it, and well he shouldn’t feel jealous but he did. 

“There was one, older man,” Vesemir stopped as he said that, eyes wide and heart faster, “I mean, fuck,” 

“What?” Julian tried to work out what was wrong, he couldn’t hear anything so it wasn’t that, but Vesemir was worried about something. 

“Nothing,” Vesemir took a drink and kept quiet as they all waited for him to continue the story, “What?” He asked after a few seconds. 

“Are you going to finish the story? I want to know about the guy,” Vesemir’s heart picked up again and Julian tilted his head before he looked at Regis and Dettlaff. 

“You don’t have too,” Julian said, taking a drink from his cup, “I have one actually. This stable help, we had to be quiet because his friend was in the other room, but oh fuck was he good,” 

“He?” Vesemir whispered and Julian nodded, confused, “Oh. You don’t care?” The question was directed at Regis and Dettlaff but Julian just laughed as he answered it. 

“Care about what? Fucking guys?” Vesemir nods and the three vampires laugh before Julian answers, “Oh gods no. Why would we?”

“People don’t like to talk about it,” Julian shrugged and Vesemir nodded before taking a drink and speaking again, “There was this guy. Older, maybe 50, but he tied me down,” Vesemir blushed slightly and Julian sat up straighter as he kept speaking, “It was the best fuck I had that year,” 

“Oh? That good?” Regis smirked as he asked and Julian threw him a look that could kill, “I bet I can show you a good time,” 

“Oh I bet you could,” Vesemir grinned at him and Julian squeezed his fists together and he looked to Dettlaff who seemed to be trying to keep himself from saying something as well. 

“Maybe you should come see in my room,” Julian took a drink, Regis knew what he was doing but of fucking course he wanted to piss Julian off. 

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer,” Julian narrowed his eyes and squeezed his cup a little too hard and it shattered in his hands. 

All eyes turned to him and he tried to ignore them as he stood and grabbed a rag from the table to clean the wine up. Vesemir was watching him with a frown as he moved and he knew Regis was smirking. 

As he sat back down, taking the bottle and drinking straight from it before Vesemir finally cracked and spoke. “What’s wrong with you? Jealous?” Julian hummed, looking at Regis who raised an eyebrow in a dare and he decided to do it. 

“Yes actually,” Vesemir stops laughing and stares at him, his heartbeat picking up again. 

“Oh. Uh. What?” He stuttered and Julian smirked at Regis before looking back to Vesemir. 

“Regis how about you show me this new painting you were talking about,” Regis and Dettlaff stand from the seat, both looking back at Julian before the door to the room is shut and they are left in silence. 

“Jealous? What?” Vesemir asked again and Julian stopped himself from sighing. 

“Are you really that blind? Vesemir please,” Julian took another drink, downing the bottle as Vesemir stared at him in confusion. 

“I don’t know what you mean!” Vesemir threw back at him and Julian rolled his eyes. He gives up, throwing his hands in the air before surging over and kissing Vesemir. He felt Vesemir freeze up and just before he could move away he started to kiss back, pulling Julian into his lap. 

They broke away after awhile and Vesemir just laughed gently. “I didn’t think you realised Jask,” 

“I didn’t think you did with me, I’ve been flirting for a while now,” Julian didn’t move from Vesemir’s lap as he spoke. 

“When?” He didn’t actually know the exact moment he had started liking the witcher, but he knew when he realized it. 

“When you brought the sketch book back that year,” Vesemi’s eyes widen and Julian leans down for a kiss, before he asks the same to him. 

“When you slept beside me in the storm a decade or so ago,”  _ a decade.  _

“You are telling me we could have been doing this for a decade?” Vesemir nods with a shrug and Julian groans. 

“I didn’t think you liked me, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” Julian gives the other man a questioning look,  _ he was a different kind of idiot.  _

“I buy you dinner all the time, go on long walks together, I even join you on hunts!” He shot back and Vesemir looked away with a small frown. “I wanted to introduce you to my brothers,” 

“Oh, I thought that was just you,” Julian laughed and Vesemir continues, “I don’t know how you didn’t realise. I made the dagger, and got you those nice books, even the name,” 

“Oh.” They both laugh slightly and Julian leaned in for another kiss, and he felt Vesemir smile against his lips. “Can I introduce you to my soft bed upstairs?” He asked after a few minutes and felt the shake of Vesemir’s laugh go through him. 

“Please do,” Vesemir picked him up, making Julian wrap his legs around the witcher’s waist as they walked out of the door that Regis and Dettlaff had left and up the stairs beside them. 

“That one,” Julian tried to pint at his room but Vesemir held him tighter as he pushed the door open and moved closer to the bed at the other side of the room. 

“Fuck I’ve waited for this,” Julian shivered as Vesemir’s gaze ran down his body and when he watched the witcher fall to his knees he groaned. 

“You look so good, on your knees,” Julian sat up and ran a hand through Vesemir’s hair as the man looked at him with a smile. “What are we doing?” 

Vesemir stopped his attempt to get the laces out of Julian’s trousers and he looked up confused. 

“Ves? What do you want?” Vesemir shrugged and Julian looked at the kneeling man for a second before nodding, “How about we just keep going and see what happens. One of us says stop, we stop.” 

“Okay, uh. Could you?” Julian grinned but didn’t say anything until Vesemir keeps going, “Would you fuck me?”

“I would be happy to Ves,” Julian ran another hand through his hair and Vesemir shivered at the touch before he went back to unlacing the trousers. “So good for me,” the shiver that got him made him grin, he could praise Vesemir if the witcher wanted it. 

“Do you have oil, or slick or something?” Julian nods and points at the drawers on the other side of the room and Vesemir stands to get it. “What drawer?”

“Uh the second?” He says, it comes out as a question and Vesemir snorts but opens the second drawer and looks around a little bit before holding a small tin that Julian knew. “That’s it,” 

Vesemir hums as he shuts the drawer and walks over as Julian unties his trousers. “Thank you,” he says as Vesemir hands him it and drops back to his knees. 

“Fuck, you look perfect,” Vesemir moves closer to this cock, licking it from bottom to the head and Julian shivered at the touch, “Can I?”

“Fuck yes,” He whispered, his cock already begging for attention, and when Vesemir takes him fully, moving right down until he nosed at Julian’s pubic hair, Julian lets out a moan he didn’t think he could make. “Holy shit please,”   


Vesemir hums around him and Julian wants to grab his hair and hold him there but he didn’t want to hurt the witcher so he clenched his hands into the bed under him. Vesemir moved his hand to touch at his balls and Julian couldn’t stop his hands moving to his hair as he did, when Vesemir didn’t move away he kept them there and let Vesemir work his head up and down his cock. 

“Ves, you, fuck,” Julian can’t pull a sentence together as Vesemir swallows around his head and looks up to him, “Fuck, fuck,” Julian tries to pull the man off his cock before he could make a fool of himself but Vesemir refused to move and when Julian bucked his hips and moaned he felt Vesemir swallow all of his come. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

Vesemir cuts him off with a look and Julian wants to shrink into himself. Vesemir moved away, licking his lips, and he looked at Julian with a grin that made the vampire want to pounce onto him and never let him go. 

“Come on Jask, show me what you can do,” Vesemir raises an eyebrow and Julian grins, his teeth showing which made Vesemir shiver slightly,  _ interesting.  _

“Oh I am going to show you the best time you will ever have,” Vesemir smirks as Julian speaks, “You are going to forget everything but my name,”

“Big words there vampire,” Julian moves closer to him, pulling him to his feet, “I’ll believe it when you show me,”

Julian gives up with speaking, his mind already running with possibilities to ruin the witcher in front of him, and as he pushed him onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress as he lifted himself onto his elbows with a grin, he had made his mind up; he would ruin him in the best way possible. 

“I want you to strip for me,” Vesemir tilted his head and Julian grinned before he made a movement to tell him to get on with it. “We don’t have all night, well we do actually. Take as long as you want,” Julian could last, he was well versed in holding himself back, but if Vesemir wanted to play like that he could make it hell for him.

“Uh yeah,” Vesemir pushed himself up again, stripping his shirt off as fast as he could before he stood and tried to push his trousers down his legs faster, when he managed to get undressed to his smalls he looked to Julian with a questioning look. 

“Back on the bed, on you back for me,” Vesemir listened to him, falling backwards and letting his legs fall onto the bed as Julian let his eyes wander down the man’s body. “You look so beautiful, nice and strong for me,” Vesemir shivered again and Julian could see his skin flush with the words,  _ very interesting.  _

“Jas,” Vesemir looked into his eyes and Julian hummed before he kneeled between his legs and let his hands fall either side of Vesemir’s head, “ _ Oh,”  _ Julian laughed slightly before he dropped closer and kissed Vesemir, letting the man feel his teeth just slightly before he was moving away and kissing at his neck. 

He tried to focus on one spot, trying to make a mark that would last, but he knew it would be gone in an hour, he would have to live with it though. He moved further down, sucking his nipples and grinning when Vesemir arched into his touch, he pressed a hand on the man’s chest to keep him down. He trailed small pecks down his chest and to his stomach, following the trail of hair that was there, and when he reached the top of his smalls he kissed just above it before pulling them off with his hands. 

“Well, look at that, you seem to like my attention,” Julian laughed slightly when Vesemir groaned and twisted under him with every word that he breathed close to his cock. 

“Need more,” Vesemir tried to push up into him again and Julian tutted a couple of times before he moved closer and took the tip of his cock into his mouth, “Oh fuck.” Julian let his tongue trace the tip before he took more and Vesmir groaned again.

He pulled away, reaching for the tin of slick and coating a couple of fingers in it before he warmed it up in his hands, he looked up to Vesemir who nodded and he grinned before he moved his fingers to press gently at his hole. He felt the man shiver and move away at the touch before he relaxed and let Julian press a little more into him before he felt a fingertip enter him. 

“Oh fuck,” He tried to move, not sure if he was moving away or not, but after a minute of Julian staying still he got used to it and nodded again, “More,”

“Tell me when to stop or move,” Julian pressed in a little more, taking him to the first knuckle before Vesemir groaned and asked for more, he pushed in again and when he was up to the bottom of his finger he started to pull out again before pushing in slowly. 

“Fuck, Julian,” Julian wasn’t sure how long it had been since Vesemir had been fucked but from the feel of it but that wasn’t going to stop him making it feel good for the witcher. “More,”

“You sure?” Julian asked, ready to stop and suck him off but Vesemir nodded and tried to push himself onto his finger for more, “Okay, but you need to tell me when to move,” 

“I’m not a fucking virgin,” Julian snorts but slowly pulls his finger out and coats it in even more slick. 

“No, but you are tight and I don’t want to hurt you,” Julian pushed the tip of two fingers in as he spoke and Vesemir tightened around them before he relaxed again.

“You can’t hurt me, and if you did I have Swallow,” Julian narrowed his eyes, trying his best to glare at the man as he was knuckle deep in him but he didn’t think it worked because Vesemir just smiled at him.

“The only time you should use Swallow after sex is if its to stop brusies forming from ropes and even then you really shouldn’t need it,” Julian tried not to get distracted at the idea of ting Vesemir up, making him come over and over until he was begging for mercy,  _ hmm another time perhaps. _

“Please just fuck me, I need it,” Vesemir pushed down on him and Julian grinned before he started to pump the two fingers into the man, watching him squirm with every move but he didn’t smell like discomfort so Julian kept going. 

“Let me open you up and then you can bounce yourself up and down for as long as you want,” Vesemir moaned as he spoke and Julian felt him squeeze before relaxing again, “So sweet for me, do you think I can get a third in?”

“Yeah, need more, please?” Julian couldn’t help the grin at how soft Vesemir spoke and he pulled the slick close before he pulled his fingers out and placed a dollop on, warming it before gently pressing into him again. “Fuck, slow.” Julian slowed down, getting ready to move away but Vesemir hums, “Okay, I’m ready,”

“So tight, so good,” Julian pressed even further and he could feel Vesemir gasping for breath at just them, “You going to come for me?”

“Yeah, fuck I’m so close,” Julian could smell the change in hormones and he grinned before he pushed a little deeper and Vesemir let out a shout and his whole body seemed to clench before it shook as he came. He kept his fingers still, not wanting to push him too much, and when he finally stopped shaking he went to move his fingers out and Vesemir made a sound that crossed from a mewl and a cry so he stopped moving. 

“What do you need?” He asked softly, moving his free hand to grab one of Vesemir’s hands from the bed, “Tell me,”

“I don’t know, please, I don’t” Julian could hear the tears that were welling in his eyes and he slowly moved his fingers out, careful not to press to hard as he moved, and when he had wiped the excess slick onto the covers below him he moved up and brought Vesemir into a hug. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Vesemir started to shake, the tears still not falling as Julian pet his hair gently, “You did so good, you used your words and told me what you needed, so good,” The tears finally fell from his eyes and Julian didn’t mention how his chest was starting to get wetter with each silent sob. “I’ve got you, I won’t let you go,”

Vesemir didn’t say anything, his emotions pulling him further away from reality and when the sobs finally died down Julian held him tighter, whispering the praise into his hair and letting the man slowly fall asleep. Julian didn’t want to fall asleep but he ended up closing his eyes and when he woke with the sun he felt his arms being empty and the scent of Vesemir fainter than the day before. 

He sat up quickly, scanning the room before he slumped back and sighed, Vesemir had left him again. 

He got up, pulling clothes on and leaving the room behind, going in search of his brothers in case they had seen Vesemir before he left. Dettlaff was in the library when he popped his head in and frowned before pointing to a letter that he had propped up beside him. Julian took it and opened it carefully, scanning it with a frown. 

_ Jask. I’m sorry. Please forgive me for leaving but I needed to get my thoughts together. If you want to continue traveling with me meet me at our normal place in Spring.  _ _ Your Ves.  _

“He left again,” Julian finally spoke, having read the letter a few times and Dettlaff nodded sadly. 

“I’m sorry, you want to drink?” Julian nodded, sitting down in the seat beside the fire as Dettlaff poured him a cup of alcohol, White Gull from the smell of it and Julian grateful took it before downing it.

He would meet with Vesemir in Spring, but that was three seasons away. He thought they would have been okay after the night before but he had obviously misread something. 

Julian and Dettlaff drunk into the night, Regis joined them and the silence helped Julian get his own thoughts together and he reworked his year plans to be in Toussaint or the surrounding areas. 


	8. Oh, won't you stay with me ('Cause you're all I need)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So when he heard the door open and the smell of Julian filled his nostrils he looked up and smiled as the vampire grinned at him as well. Julian joined him at the table and they are silent for all of two seconds before they are talking over each other. 
> 
> [Chapter Title from Stay with Me by Sam Smith]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a heavy chapter later on, there is talk of a child death (not in detail). If you want to skip it, it starts at "What happened love, and ends at "Stay with me?", I will have a basic run down at the end.

Vesemir was in the inn waiting for Julian like he said he would, it had been three seasons since he had left him in the bed and the three seasons he had used to get his feelings under control as well as talking to Barmin about it,  _ an awkward conversation _ . 

So when he heard the door open and the smell of  _ Julian _ filled his nostrils he looked up and smiled as the vampire grinned at him as well. Julian joined him at the table and they are silent for all of two seconds before they are talking over each other. 

“You first,” Vesemir says, and Julian hums. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you and you felt like you had too,” He could sense the discomfort from his friend and he frowned slightly which made the scent grow stronger. 

“What? You didn’t force me. Fuck, I left because I didn’t know what to say to you. But I think I do now, or I might? Come to my room?” Vesemir could feel his own nerves building as he spoke, Julian didn’t have to agree, he could say no and leave him alone again.

“Okay, yeah,” Julian stood, ignoring the gaze of other patrons and Vesemir followed him out of the tavern and into the streets, they didn’t talk as they walked through the square into the inn they had always stayed at for the first night back together. 

As they walked into the room Vesemir took a deep breath before sitting on the bed and gesturing for Julian to sit beside him as well, and as the vampire sat he turned to talk to him. “You didn’t force me,”

“You left,” Julian countered and Vesemir sighed as he rubbed his forehead. 

“I always leave, so do you. It is what we do Jask,” The nickname made Julian’s heart skip a beat, or well it would have, but Vesemir kept speaking, “I left because I didn’t know what to say. You said, fuck, you said you liked me,” 

“Like, I still do Ves,” Julian watched as Vesemir looked away, a smile present on his face even if he tried to hide it. 

“You can’t say that. Well you can but I don’t know what to say,” Julian looked at Vesemir, his words wanting to spill out but he couldn’t, he didn’t want to scare Vesemir away, not again. 

“Tell me the truth, that is all I ask,” Vesemir sighed again and Julian was about to say he didn’t need to but Vesemir spoke. 

“Barmin said he doesn’t care,” Julian whipped his head up, staring with wide eyes as Vesemir nodded, “He said that we are both old enough to make our own decisions,” 

“Did you leave because you were worried about him?” Julian tried to control his face, he knew Vesemir would be able to decipher his emotions, and he really didn’t want him to see how scared he was. 

“Partly, also because I don’t know how to deal with emotions. You know this Jask,” Julian felt himself melt slightly, the nickname and the confession from Vesemir, he wanted to laugh because he knew how bad they both were with expressing emotions. 

“Yeah I know, so you didn’t leave because I forced you or you didn't like it?” Vesemir shook his head and Julian let out a sigh of relief. At least he could calm that particular thought. 

“No you didn’t force me and I did like it, I liked it a lot and would like a repeat if you could be amenable,” Julian grinned and looked at Vesemir with a gaze that he knew was more predator than anything else. 

“I would be, I have no plans for this year,” Vesemir nodded, standing up and making sure the door was locked, Julian followed him with his eyes, watching each step carefully. 

“Well it seems we have a few seasons to make up for,” Julian grabbed at Vesemir’s hand and brought him close, pulling him onto his lap before he kissed him gently. 

“It would seem so,” Vesemir whispered into his mouth and they pulled each other into a kiss again, they had a time to make up for it. 

-

The next couple of years seemed to pass by in a blur, they spent all seasons except for winter together, and when they met up after winter they gave gifts and they fucked in a bed for a few days before leaving and continuing on their Path. 

In 1060, Julian made sure that they passed through Velen to meet with Regis and Dettlaff for Vesemir’s 100 summer of life, they drank into the night and fell into bed for a couple of days. As they left the city Julian presented him with a small gift, a dagger that he could hide in his hair when he had it up, Vesemir made sure to wear it as many times as he could. 

In 1080, when they had met up after the summer solstice, having split for Vesemir to go to Skellige and Julian staying in Oxenfurt for a tournament. Julian had cleaned up the house and as Vesemir walked in he was about to ask if he wanted anything but he had been pushed against the door for a ‘proper’ greeting, not that he was complaining. As Vesemir pulled away he was presented with a small journal, and as he opened it, small pressed flowers -- buttercups on closer inspection-- fell out, he smiled and pulled Vesemir into another kiss. 

They travelled for five more years together, their relationship growing and changing as they changed, and when Vesemir came down the mountain after the winter Julian could see something was wrong. He wasn’t greeted with a kiss and a hug like he normally was, he was greeted with a Vesemir who looked half starved and defeated. Julian didn’t waste time with having a meal in public, instead pulling Vesemir up to their room and sitting him on the bed with a sandwich. 

“What happened, love?” Vesemir shook his head and Julian narrowed his eyes and asked again, nicer.

“Nothing, fuck.” Vesemir shook slightly, his eyes growing blurry with tears and Julian sat on the bed before pulling him beside him. “I fucked up, I don’t know what to do,”

“What happened? How can I help?” Julian ran a hand through Vesemir’s hair, he had only seen the man cry a few times in the 100 years he had known him, and even the thought of him being in pain made his unbeaten heart ache. 

“The kid, he was so small, they wanted to put him through more trials. He was so small, I, fuck, I tried to hide him. He was so small, so small,” Vesemir kept repeating the last couple of words and Julian held him before he quietened down. 

“What did they do?” Julian wasn’t sure he wanted to know, if Vesemir was acting like he was it had to be bad.

“They killed him. He was so small,” Vesemir went quiet again and Julian was about to ask but the man in his arms kept going, “They killed him in front of me, Barmin couldn’t do anything, he was so small,” 

“What the fuck, I will hunt them all down,” Julian squeezed Vesemir in his arms, holding him tight as he drew deep breaths in and tried to calm down, “Say the word Ves,”

“Stay with me?” He asked, his voice so soft and not the man that Julian knew at all. 

“Of course love, tell me what you need,” He would move mountains if Vesemir asked him to and he knew Vesemir knew that, “Anything,”

“I’ve been banned for five years, I don’t want to be a burden on you, but would I be able to stay with you in winter? I don’t need to, I can-” Julian cut him off with a small kiss and Vesemir kept quiet too let Julian speak. 

“You can stay with me for as long as you need, we can go south, the coast or Oxenfurt if you want,” Julian tried to bring a smile to Vesemir’s face but as he looked into his partner’s eyes he was met with a darkness he didn’t recognize. 

“I don’t know, what you want is okay,” Vesemir pulled away gently, and Julian let him, his eyes following the man with a small sigh, he knew it would take a while for his Vesemir to remember himself and to get over the shock he was in. 

“We can wander, take a year or two in each place, and maybe if you are feeling up to it we can meet Regis and Dettlaff again,” Vesemir just nodded and Julian tried to forget how hurt he smelt and tried to focus on having his witcher in his arms. “Would you like me to get you more food and then you can sleep?” 

Vesemir nodded and Julian hummed before he stood and checked the room was okay, before walking down and ordering enough food for Vesemir to have some extra. As he entered the room his eyes were drawn to the body of Vesemir lying in the bed as he slept and Julian placed the food on the table before climbing into the bed beside him. 

He closed his eyes, letting the darkness take him and he fell into a light sleep. He was woken with a scream and his eyes flew open as he searched for danger, and as he turned to Vesemir he was hit in the face with the man’s fist as he thrashed around. The pain wasn’t that bad, a small dull ache but he opened his eyes again to see Vesemir staring back at him with a look of guilt. 

“My love, it's okay, it was just a dream,” He tried to move closer, not pulling Vesemir into his arms yet, but he could see the panic in his friends face, “How about a walk outside?” Vesemir nodded and the two of them were moving up and off the bed, Vesemir still wobbly from his nightmare but he hid it well. 

“Come on now Ves,” Julian stretched his hand out for Vesemir to take but he was ignored and left behind as Vesemir pushed in front and left the room, Julian watched him leave with a frown, he knew it would be a long five years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basic run down of the chapter, they meet again after Vesemir ran out on Julian, they stay together and celebrate birthdays, then in 1085 Vesemir comes back looking thin and sad, turns out the mages and instructors needed to teach him a lesson by taking the life of a small kid he tried to save. Vesemir is also banned from KM for five years and Julian has said he can stay with him in the winter.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! It is my first time writing a Vampire story. 
> 
> Come and talk to me on Tumblr, I am Agnew-Writer.


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